How to prepare for your
Searching and seeking are the plague of the modern world.
Both are a product of the mind.
Look within and you will have arrived.
Knowing is stored inside your body.
The purpose of formulating questions before approaching any reader is, indeed, a very meaningful process. It forces the querent to slow down, take a deep breath, step back from daily drama and connect to their inner being and intuition. As the client engages in such introspective procedure, they soon realize that they know the answers to many questions they were pressed to ask; their mental chatter reduces in volume and velocity and they are able to enter a calmer deeper state of tranquil watchfulness. To me this is the eternity within - 12th house communion - a place of timeless values and heart's truth. There is a reason why so many yogis and deeply sensitive people love spending time in nature. Nature with its cycles is timeless. It stays unbothered in the face of human neurosis, fleeting trends and fashions. It brings us solace because it's reliable. Nature always seeks balance.
It is precisely in such calm state that the client is able to connect to a deeper current within their soul and access inner knowing. What seemed so urgent and alluring (Rahu desire) may now be observed from perspective. Questions asked in such state of mind tend to be clearer and more relevant. In fact, the client will have realized that they knew the answer all along.
The issue is rarely with not knowing -
the issue is always with not believing that one can get to where they want to be. Hence, the bogus obstacles: 'family obligations', too much work, a dying parent, a relationship that gets in the way, no money, toxic people. All of the above are but a reflection of one's own undisciplined neurotic mind. They are ego-tools of self-deception. We would rather make excuses than face our deepest truth, fears, inadequacies and disappointments.
Every single person at their core wants love, freedom, authenticity and spontaneous self-expression. These come before any specific material desires, geographical setting, particular aspects of one's career or relationship/family life. Many clients want to know about the timing of their next relationship or job, yet what difference does it make if one refuses to clean up their own act. A new relationship or job does not equal happiness! It may just as well deliver more pain and pathology as we are forever matched with our equals. Life meets us where we're at. Do not be drawn to the illusory I'll be happy when thinking. If you're not happy NOW, you won't be happy THEN. Not in the long run. Watch this to get a better picture.
I believe that at our core we all want to abide in a state of non-judgment. And guess what? No one is preventing you in spite of the thousands of ridiculous pop-songs you have heard on the radio. Stop all judgment in your own mind and you will never experience it again. You cannot be judged unless you're the one doing the judging in the first place. Whenever we judge others we also judge self. Look at the world of music and those perpetual complaints about reality which is really of one's own making. Women singing about how they wish they were a boy as if one needed to be one to be free, empowered, athletic, on the ball and respected! Who the heck is preventing you from being just that?
Judgment + Self-censoring. You need to care about other people's reaction, to feel constrained by their judgment (which in itself may be illusory). In fact, whatever you think is appropriate for you - will be your reality. Other people's reactions are but a mirror to your own state of mind. Dah! Your focus needs to constantly go toward the outside environment in order for you to even notice 'what others think' and even that is but an interpretation - a product of your own dysfunctional thinking and childhood conditioning. A person rooted in their own being (meditation + nature + exercise help) doesn't give their power away to anything outside of themselves. So many people fall for that same old ego-control mechanism. Instead of changing self, they want to control the whole of society and people's reactions to their "uniqueness". How many times have you heard someone wanting to be like Mick Jagger or complaining that there are no people like him any more. The same mechanism is at work in complaints about socio-economic issues - someone should do something about this! Stop externalizing your authenticity, sense of agency, efficacy and uniqueness. Stop complaining, envying and moaning. Instead, heal yourself, clean up your act, step up, and JUST BE the damn thing you want to be without involving millions of people around you in your petty drama. Perhaps nothing's changing because the world is waiting on you to put in some effort. Where is your contribution?
Have you noticed how some people can just be, while others voluntarily box themselves into gender roles, sexuality, race etc. Some people just can't help themselves but continuously seek others with whom they can join in groups based on some random common denominator (we both have vagina and that makes us virtually ALIKE). Afraid to stand out on their own and look within, they merge in victim-groups to fight the common 'enemy'. They fail to see that that very 'enemy' is inviting them to step up in life and transform.
Truly authentic people don't spend any time talking about being one thing or another. They just are. I find it hilarious to listen to gender complaints by people who subscribed to the very structure in the first place. Same goes for 'female empowerment'. Know what you're hungry for before throwing your shadow onto thy 'enemy'. There are plenty of strong women in business, science, entertainment as well as stay-at-home mums who feel deeply rooted in their own being and whose relationship with men was never a battlefield. You need to objectify yourself first in order to be objectified by another. You need to disrespect self first in order to be a match to men (human beings) who disrespect women. You need to place too much emphasis on your gender, your body, your looks, to be disrespected by others on that basis. Otherwise, a crass remark of some random person wouldn't even touch you. You would see them as a boorish individual rather than an agent of systemic oppression. Self-respecting women land in environments that respect them. They give no time to nonsense, petty infatuation, love-chasing and the like - they treat themselves with dignity and reverence and thus they experience deep devotion and respect from men.
The outside can only respond to who you are on the inside. People follow our own guidance. Women who don't apply any standards of self-respect, self-love, patience and devotion to virtue and qualities that go beyond the looks, will be met with adequate response from the outside environment. They will land in milieus that 'expect' women to act in a certain way - which is naturally an illusion, for a truly powerful lady would just kick all doors open with no sense of shame or inadequacy. We get what we believe is for us. Our external environment always aligns with our self-concept. We can only end in places to where our mind was drawn. Continue to think that men disempower women and this will be your fate. In reality, no person is a gatekeeper to your freedom, but that also means work. Independence means independent thinking, discernment, responsibility, accountability toward self, work, courage, ability to go it alone, ability to ask for help and many other things. Independence is not the result of 'seeking for someone who could save you'. The latter leads to dependency, parasitic existence and disempowerment. People who choose this path love to moan about the consequences of their own actions once the Other has failed to meet their expectations. Apply logic.
Power comes from within and it rests upon a single premise - one's ability to generate whatever the heck one wants at will. People who need other people's input (codependency) - who can't generate happiness, peace, fulfillment, prosperity, satisfaction and joy from within - seek out others who will fulfill their needs for them. When that doesn't happen, they hold a grudge. This expectation that someone on the outside is responsible for making your life better is called entitlement.
There is no outside - no one can take your power away without you stepping over yourself in the first place. No one can cross your boundaries without you walking over them first. You need to devalue yourself in order to be devalued. There is no such thing as 'fake crowd' - there is only a crowd that reflects back to you your own inauthenticity - Why are you around these people? Why are you not walking away? Why are you in conversation with [fill in the blank]? Ha! Now we're getting somewhere - you're there because of fear, self-judgment, your beliefs about what's possible in life, perhaps attachment trauma. Everything comes back to SELF, yet it's much easier to keep on projecting one's shadow onto others. It exempts us from looking within and working on ourselves.
As Leo Tolstoy instructs us: If you want to be happy, be.
I can assure you that everything comes down to this most basic level of desire for spontaneous expression and being true to oneself. All else is but a meta-structure of your life - financial struggles are but a material manifestation/mirror to your inner inadequacies and incapacity to tap into your inner well of creativity. Nasty, toxic people in your life are there by invitation. They show you where you are in life with regard to yourself. If they are there, you are still in conversation with them. You are deeming them in some way important - they will disappear as soon as you stop caring about their approval (self-worth + inner locus of control), stop fighting for justice (self-responsibility regarding your karma) and give your undivided attention to where you want to be. Everything starts and ends in your own mind.
There is a reason why PATIENCE is deemed one of the greatest virtues. Those who can be patient with their own process, get to discover the answers. Those who can't introspect, who forever lean on others for guidance, will never be active participants of life. There is no magic pill, there is only a meaningful process. There is no escape out of pain, there is only understanding and humility that allow us to turn that pain into wisdom instead of suffering.
No one can ever build you up, lend you their brain, their character, their stamina, their hard work, their experience, their wisdom, their good karma, their wealth.
No one can do the push ups for you.
No one can eat healthy foods and refrain from junk for you.
No one can become disciplined for you.
No one can heal for you.
No one can feel your feelings for you.
No one can toughen up for you.
No one can think your thoughts for you.
No one can bring your dreams into reality.
No one can wake up at 5am for you.
NO ONE CAN EMPOWER YOU. Empowerment is a process of lifting yourself up from an impossible situation and overcoming the hurdle on your own. There is no such thing as 'power to the people'. If you haven't built it yourself, it's not going to stay. One may be born into material privilege and a loving family, yet be completely incapable of functioning without other people's support. One needs their relatives, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a group of followers or else they fall apart. Unless, your locus of control is on the inside, you will feel weak and dependent on others for happiness.
Your life is your job.
The above qualities are all EARNED, not granted.
If you haven't earned it (insert whatever comes to mind) - it is not going to stay. From love, through stamina and toughness, to prosperity. You are either the maker, the doer, the generator and creator or a forever-hungry consumer who seeks to source substance from the outside world.
Stop envying other people's wealth - make your own.
Stop envying other people's bodies - get into shape.
Stop envying other people's love - become unconditionally loving yourself.
Get a life.
Stop judging and you will never feel judged again.
This is why I ask you to become an active participant in this process. I do not respond to confused, erratic, chaotic Help me! emails. I am not your mum and you are not 4. No work can be done with a person in distress. What you need is a big self-hug. What you need to develop is the ability to sit with a difficult - sometimes devastating - emotion. That's your job. Life includes difficulty. There is no need to run away from it or judge it as 'bad'. It's simply a part of your experience and you are asked to develop some strength or understanding. You cannot heal without feeling your emotions first. If you are in a place of self-avoidance, no progress can be made. Healing means WORK. It's not pleasant. You may get sympathy and 'support' from others, but that means you will forever depend on other people for such support. You will be constantly running away from SELF grabbing your cell phone the minute you feel lonely or sad. You will become a burden to everyone around you and your relationships will continue to resemble a child-parent dynamic. This is likely to make you into an emotional vampire slash moaning victim who drains everyone of their life force through the incessant stream of complaints. I don't respond to such emails, because I'm finally wise and old enough to know there is no conversation to be had. I will only start feeling frustrated and responsible for a person who does not take responsibility for their own actions - this reminds me of home!haha
You need to learn how to self-sooth, self-partner and just be there for yourself instead of leaning on others. How can you expect others to accept you unconditionally, if you yourself can't sit with your own emotions? Life is a mirror to your own relationship with Self. Want great love? Look into the sky. Have you ever seen one bird carrying another on their back? Learn to fly on your own. It's no one's job to piggyback you through life. Ground yourself in your own body and breath. If you can't be with yourself, you will live a life of dependency which is of your own choosing. If you are in deep distress, life is clearly asking you to listen to your inner being. Stop avoiding your pain. Become curious about what it's trying to communicate with you.
I can assure you that all answers are to be found in your questions. In fact, most of my work stops at my client's first email. Everything I needed to know is right there - contained in my clients' words (those expressed and those omitted). In most cases, the client knows who they are, what they want and where they are going. It is their fearful conscious mind and the psychological baggage that 'prevent' them from moving forward. In other cases, one may be amidst of a challenging life transition, difficult Shani aspect or mahadasa. It's good to remember that we are always where we need to be. Best way forward is to ask: What is this situation trying to teach me? What aspect of my character needs to be developed through this testing experience? In most cases, the answer has to do with dropping codependent behaviors, toughening up, finding one's own purpose in life, finding love and acceptance toward Self - all of which fall under the umbrella of Jungian individuation.
Therefore, I kindly ask that all clients clear as much of their anxious energy as possible. As with all other things in life, the more love and care the client puts into the reading in the form of calming preparation, the better the reading.
The client will benefit from meditative practices, walks in nature, exercise, yoga, healthy eating, drinking loads of water, journaling and introspection. In particular, I encourage all clients to think deeply why they wish to approach a reader; what are their expectations from the session as well as to put in the effort into formulating coherent questions (rather than vague statements My life is falling apart! Help me! - Nope. You need to do your own paddling if you don't want to go under water.). I urge all clients to calm down and reflect on what exactly is falling apart and why is this bringing them suffering. Even such small step will bring the native closer to pinpointing specific conflicts in their life. (Am I afraid of judgment? Am I trying to please my family/friends/society? Am I afraid of rejection and failure? Do I feel that love needs to be earned? Do I need a certain status, income, social standing, body, degree .. to be lovable? If so why and in whose eyes? Am I afraid of the unknown? Am I obsessively chasing someone who is unavailable? etc. etc.)
We can look into any area during the reading. There is plenty of time. However, the better prepared the client, the deeper and more profound the reading: whether astrology or tarot. It's one of those basic truths - you get what you give. The reading is meant to help you - not 'guess' you or enable your fantasy.
You will be amazed how well this process works. There is no magic attached to it. Simply calm your mind and allow all dust to settle. It definitely worked out for me when I wanted to approach another Jyotisha practitioner. What I wrote on this page is precisely her advice. Upon following it, I had no further desire or need for the reading. I simply came back home to myself and realized that I know all the answers, my direction and my destiny. I also realized that I'm simply not the type of person who can be told anything by anyone other than God when it comes to my life. We are all different, so you will need to find what works for you.
Asking on the outside often feels like turning back on the divine on the inside. Those obsessed with 'checking', double-checking and predicting are usually bereft of faith or trust in life. My readings are definitely helpful on the psychology level, which is exactly the level most people struggle with the most.
People who are post-individuation are generally very peaceful, aligned with their lives and at ease with reality. In such cases, the reading is a great pleasure to deliver and it's a lot of fun because the native tends to be open and does not exude any fear.
If upon reflection you're still simply curious about your energy or nativity (without much attachment to the outcome or needing to be soothed) AND you are keen to take advantage of my technical skill and perception - this is the consultation for you.
There is no substitute for contemplation and introspection. If you are not in touch with your body, if you can't calm yourself down and get to the root of your being, you will be like a toy thrown in all directions by the 'circumstances' of your life. From such state you can't even enter a client-counsellor relationship with me that's based on equality. See, I don't take 'prisoners' whom I seek to keep in a codependent state. I don't like the feeling of being dragged underwater by heavy dead body. Do not email me saying Help me! I have nowhere to go, you're my last chance. I need you to pull yourself together and do some work. It's no one's job to carry your psychological baggage for you. I can show you the way, but I am not going to carry another person's weight or spend 1hour explaining WHY you need to take responsibility for your life.
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.